My computer has two user ids. One has my name on it and a pic that looks like me and the other says “stranger”. I have found that oftentimes when I want to log in my mouse hovers around “stranger” about five seconds before I make a conscious decision to move it to my name. weird huh?? It makes me remember how I was when I was younger. No!! That isn’t quite right... it makes me remember a feeling I had wen I was much younger. Who exactly am i?? I grew up thinking it was vanity to look in the mirror except when absolutely necessary. I really don’t know where that idea came from but there it was. You know how ure walking past a car and sometimes u just look in either to check ur reflection or to look at the car seats?? Well I never did that. Even if I was dying to know who or what was in the car, I wouldn’t look. Not because I thot I was vain (lord knows I wasn’t) but because I thot that whoever looking at me would think I was checking out my reflection and then think I was vain. I know what ure thinking.. y would anyone be looking at me? Maybe I am vain!! But it really wasn’t like that.. it was more like they mistakenly glance at me and then wonder “wat is she even looking at sef??” . Sad huh? But wait!! I digress!! This unfortunate habit of mine got so bad that I’d go out with unkempt hair, a much too powdered face or with a piece of vegetable stuck between my teeth. But the worst of all was wen I couldn’t recognize myself in pictures. I’d look at a class pic and search anxiously for my face. Then I’d begin to doubt myself “I was there when they took the picture wasn’t i? was i??” or I’ll look at the pic, see an unfamiliar face and ask a classmate “who’s this?” at which I’d get a look, and a thoroughly irritated “that’s you now!!!” I’d done it for the umpteenth time and I was beginning to piss my friends off wen I decided enuf was enuff. I took out a mirror and fell in love with myself. Inside and out. So much so that I started having animated conversations with myself. But sometimes something still bowls me over and I find myself wondering... ”is it me or is there a stranger in there I don’t know about??”
Ive always loved Christmas. Wen I was younger it was a time to go to the village, hook up with cousins I hadn’t seen all through the year, eat lots of food, have uncles dote on me and tell me wat a wonderfully bright child I am and generally be lazy. I, my sister and my twin cousins used to pretend we were The Famous Five. It took us a while to realize that it wasn’t just a name- they were actually five. But that didn’t keep us down for too long. We bullied my cousins dog until we could make it do basically all we wanted. We had found our fifth member. but unlike our namesakes in the novel series, we didn’t solve mysteries; we created them!! One that m sure no one ever resolved was the question of y lil kids are so annoying. Perfect example: my big cousin had a bad car accident and had a big wound on his arm. My twin cousins and I would go to him, poke the wound insistently and say in that irritatingly squeaky loud voice kids have “ is it paining you??”. Now wen I think about it I wond...
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BTW, tried to leave a comment to your newer post but noticed that you and Carlang where engaged in naughty behavior so I decided to come leave a comment here instead. lol!